Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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