I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
