There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
