I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
