The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize