I like my sex mixed with concussions.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
