i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
