Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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