he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
