Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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