Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
