I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
