I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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