If i come over, it means nothing
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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