Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
