I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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