you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
