if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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