Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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