You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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