A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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