Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
worst night to have a conscience
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
do nipples grow back?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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