why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
