Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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