No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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