I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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