She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
