hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
