The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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