if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
