Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
