don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
