soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The ass gains better be worth it
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