I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize