we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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