I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
As shirtless as possible
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
