I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
