...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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