awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize