Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
