he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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