There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize