Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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