I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
