addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
