Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
