i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
