grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
