smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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