I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
