And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
