If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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