talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize