It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
