But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
