She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Please, let me fuck your mom
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
