god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
okay pat passed out under dana's car
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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