I heard we made out
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
