Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
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Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
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That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
how does that bad decision feel?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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