Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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