PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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