I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
