If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Oh god it's open bar.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize