Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
do herpes really smell.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
