Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
