I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
