you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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