I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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