You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
