i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize