so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
