You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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