absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
