Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
