I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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