I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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