Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
