I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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