I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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