Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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