he shaved USA in his pubs
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
