Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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