Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
