I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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