no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
