Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize