whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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