I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize